帮我看看有语法错误和词汇错误么或者是能用更好的词汇My name is XXX ,a student fromXXX University .Igraduated from XXX Vocational High School ,and majored in drawing .I was born inXXX ,I live with my father ,two brothers ,althou

帮我看看有语法错误和词汇错误么或者是能用更好的词汇My name is XXX ,a student fromXXX University .Igraduated from XXX Vocational High School ,and majored in drawing .I was born inXXX ,I live with my father ,two brothers ,althou
帮我看看有语法错误和词汇错误么或者是能用更好的词汇
My name is XXX ,a student from
XXX University .I
graduated from XXX Vocational High School ,and majored in drawing .I was born in
XXX ,
I live with my father ,two brothers ,although I was born in a single-parent
family ,but it also makes me independent .I like to read comics ,not only just for fun but also observe their drawing skills .Drawing is my favorite
thing ,I am very interested in drawing ,especially creative freedom ,because
it can inspire more creative .
Peopledescribe me as an friendly,talkative,positive and creative person .
I
enjoy
reading too ,and my favorite books are Harry Potter series ,After I finished
reading the book in this series ,I became very interested in the United
Kingdom ,so I hope that I could pass the test of General English Proficiencyand read more English ,then study tour in the UK ,this is my dream .

帮我看看有语法错误和词汇错误么或者是能用更好的词汇My name is XXX ,a student fromXXX University .Igraduated from XXX Vocational High School ,and majored in drawing .I was born inXXX ,I live with my father ,two brothers ,althou
My name is XXX ,a student from XXX University .I graduated from XXX Vocational High School ,and majored in drawing .I was born in XXX.I live with my father ,two brothers .Although I was born in a single-parent family,it makes me independent .I like to read comic books,not only just for fun but also to observe their drawing skills .Drawing is my favorite.I am very interested in drawing,especially free creation,because it can provides me with inspiration.
People describe me as an friendly,talkative,positive and creative person .
I enjoy reading too ,and my favorite books are Harry Potter series.After I finished reading the books in this series ,I became very interested in the United Kingdom .So I hope that I could pass the test of General English Proficiency and read more English ,so I can study in the UK ,which is my dream .

although I was born in a single-parent family , but it also makes me independent 。
这句中although和but不可同时使用。
not only just for fun but also observe their drawing skills 中not only 是不仅仅的意思和just的语义重...

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although I was born in a single-parent family , but it also makes me independent 。
这句中although和but不可同时使用。
not only just for fun but also observe their drawing skills 中not only 是不仅仅的意思和just的语义重复。but also 后边加上for observing构成平行结构。
more creative 改成名词性，creation。

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My name is XXX , a student from XXX University . I graduated from XXX Vocational High School , and majored in drawing .
I was born in XXX .I live with my father and two brothers , although I was ...

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My name is XXX , a student from XXX University . I graduated from XXX Vocational High School , and majored in drawing .
I was born in XXX .I live with my father and two brothers , although I was born in a single-parent
family ,it also maked me independent . I like reading comics ,not only just for fun but also for observing their drawing skills .
Drawing is my favorite thing , I am very interested in drawing , especially creating freedly , because it can inspire more creativeness .People describe me as an friendly,lively, positive and creative person .
I enjoy reading too.My favorite books are Harry Potter series , After I finished reading the books , I became very interested in the United Kingdom, so I hope that I can pass the test of General English Proficiency and read more English , then study in the UK , this is my dream .
略做了些修改，请你对比看下你出错的地方。

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