帮忙批改一篇英语作文,在此谢过啦 ⅣDear Manager,I'm a manager of a office facility import and export company,my name is Wang Gang.I learn about your company's intraduce from 《Urban Commerce》,I want to know if your company have prod

帮忙批改一篇英语作文,在此谢过啦 ⅣDear Manager,I'm a manager of a office facility import and export company,my name is Wang Gang.I learn about your company's intraduce from 《Urban Commerce》,I want to know if your company have prod
帮忙批改一篇英语作文,在此谢过啦 Ⅳ
Dear Manager,
I'm a manager of a office facility import and export company,my name is Wang Gang.I learn about your company's intraduce from 《Urban Commerce》,I want to know if your company have products that I need.Wheather have producted goods.Our company need a lot number of products and want to build businise communication with your company.
Of course.I will intraduce my company to you,so that you can learn our company will.Our company work as import and exprot businise .There are other six companies in China.Communicate with many companies at home.Ok.That's all!I hope get replain as soon as possiple.
yours sincerely
Wang Gang

帮忙批改一篇英语作文,在此谢过啦 ⅣDear Manager,I'm a manager of a office facility import and export company,my name is Wang Gang.I learn about your company's intraduce from 《Urban Commerce》,I want to know if your company have prod
Dear Manager,
I'm a manager of a (用an)office facility import and export company,(句子间无衔接,改成分号)my name is Wang Gang.I learn about your company's intraduce(你是想写introduce么?) from 《Urban Commerce》(书名号改成引号),(加and)I want to know if your company have products that I need.Wheather (你是想写whether么?)have producted goods.Our company need a lot number (number在这里你想说什么?)of products and want to build businise (你是想写business么?)communication with your company.
Of course.I will intraduce (同前)my company to you,so that you can learn (learn你也敢用?know就好了么)our company will(你是想写well么?).Our company work as (这个as..你想说什么?)import and exprot businise (同前).There are other six companies in China.Communicate with many companies at home.(这个句子我没法改了!)Ok.That's all!I hope get replain (你想说reply么?)as soon as possiple.(possible.你又拼写错误)
yours sincerely
Wang Gang
满篇Chinglish和低级的拼写错误.
而且这文貌似是商务文吧?全篇以 I 开头,你觉得合适么?
最好全部重写!

Dear manager
This is xx company,specialized in office facility import and export,I learned about your company's introduction of "urban commerce" and wonde if you can offer the proper products for ...

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Dear manager
This is xx company,specialized in office facility import and export,I learned about your company's introduction of "urban commerce" and wonde if you can offer the proper products for our company(the attachment is the drawing and documents for your reference)
our company need a large number of this kind of products,if you can do it,please contact us for details ,hope we can build further cooperation in the future
looking forward to hearing from you soon,thank you!
best regard
company name"
name"
positon"
tel No."
FAX"
ADRESS"
website"

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